Sheyla Zito – Live Fully Today Blog https://blog.livefully2day.com If not now, When? Sat, 05 Aug 2023 19:05:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.3 https://blog.livefully2day.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/cropped-LiveFully2day-if-not-now-when_-Logo--32x32.png Sheyla Zito – Live Fully Today Blog https://blog.livefully2day.com 32 32 Grief & Acceptance https://blog.livefully2day.com/grief-acceptance/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=grief-acceptance https://blog.livefully2day.com/grief-acceptance/#respond Sat, 05 Aug 2023 14:22:00 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=952 Continue Reading]]> Every time there is a change, it is like a small death

… the old is no more and the new is born. With change comes the need to process and get used to the new way. Grieving is a crucial step in the healing process. Feeling grief means being alive. There’s not much to do about it, but be aware there might be phases, and know that it shall pass.

“I will restore you to health and I will heal you of your wounds” –

Jeremiah 30:17

There is no timeframe for how fast or how long it might last. Each person is different and may experience it in a unique way. 

Like a storm, grief has its phases. Seek shelter, get a hot cup of tea, turn the fireplace on, get a fluffy quilt, sit in a comfortable chair, get a Kleenex box, and be still. Allow all the emotions to come, feel them, notice where in your body it’s manifesting, send love, accept it, allow it to be, let them pass, and be grateful for your awareness, for being able to experience and feel them. 

It’s important to understand that It’s ok not to be okay… Each one of us heals differently and takes a unique amount of time to shake the dust off and get back up to speed again. Because we live busy lives, it is very common, actually, to see people moving from one thing to another without allowing time to process and digest what happened. 

It is important to recognize and understand that it is part of the process, completely normal and necessary to go through it, so that you can get to the other side sane and sound.  

It is ok…

Recognize that you are going through a process that shall pass… don’t judge yourself.  Instead, make a self-agreement to be upset for a certain period of time, and allow yourself to feel the way you do. Accept, forgive yourself, sleep in, stay in PJ… it’s okay… 

Briefly below, are the 5 stages of the Mourning & Grieving process: 

Denial and Isolation

A defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock, numbing us to our emotions. Deny the reality of the situation. Rationalize overwhelming emotions. 

Anger

Emotionally, we may even resent God for causing us pain. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry.

Bargaining

The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control–

If only we had sought medical attention sooner…

If only we got a second opinion from another doctor…

If only we had tried to be a better person…

Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.

Depression

Sadness and regret predominate this phase of grieving. 

Acceptance

Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Change may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It isn’t necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm but isn’t a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression. 

Coping with a loss is a deeply personal and singular experience — nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through.  But others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it will only prolong the natural process of healing.

Credit:  Michele Bergami – Unsplash

Dealing with Grief

Maybe during this time, you could…

  • Make time for feeling the emotions that arise

There is no need to judge these emotions… it is ok to feel these, they will not last forever. You may even create a little ritual.

  • Thank friends and tell them it is normal and natural to feel as you do

Friends may get more comfortable hearing this from you.

  • Take care of yourself

Go out on a walk, and make sure to eat healthily.

  • Open your eyes to the delights around you  

The wonders of life exist even in the midst of grief: a child’s smile or a flower smell or even the taste of your favorite food.  

  • Take a break from feeling overwhelmed

Know your limits and allow yourself to take a break, make an agreement with grief to get back to it, or will take you all day.

  • Help others you care about

Altruism can be a great way to move through grief. Maybe you’d like to volunteer or make some things for those you care about.

  • Join others looking for help

Support has been known to be very helpful and so joining a grief or support group either online or in person can be supportive. 

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls it a butterfly.”

Loss is real. Sudden, unexpected loss is harder.

Remember to respect yourself, to believe it is okay not to be okay, that you need time to heal and most important, never judge yourself, or force yourself to get out of grief sooner than you need.

Remember to communicate your feelings to people around you so that they can support you during this process.

Inspired by what one of my mentors, Bob Proctor, said once, grief feels like staring at the ocean – feels infinite like it never ends… In the beginning is like this gigantic wave, that comes one after another,. It can be overwhelming, you barely have time to breathe or recompose yourself until the next one comes. As time passes, they reduce size and intensity, and they become a little smaller and more spaced. It never goes away, but after a while, the waves will be more manageable and might even bring sweet memories with them.

You will be okay… But you don’t have to go through this alone.

Please look for professional help, therapy, counseling, etc. It may help you…

Speaking about grief: https://fb.watch/melqMA8KLQ/?mibextid=Nif5oz

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Thrive After Cancer – Myth!? https://blog.livefully2day.com/thrive-after-cancer-myth/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=thrive-after-cancer-myth https://blog.livefully2day.com/thrive-after-cancer-myth/#respond Fri, 03 Mar 2023 03:33:00 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=939 Continue Reading]]>

Cancer is a life-altering experience that can leave a lasting impact on a person’s life. The journey from the life-sentencing news, through treatment can be tough, both physically and mentally. However, with the right mindset and a positive attitude, one can overcome the challenges and like many, even thrive after cancer.

Mindset is a set of beliefs, attitudes, and assumptions that shape the way we perceive life, the world and ourselves. It can be either positive or negative and can influence our behavior and decision-making process. It can be inherited from long ago based on other people’s experiences during their life. We don’t even realize all the myths imprinted, the stories we tell ourselves, often in other people’s voices, specially parents, religious figures, doctors, elderly, etc telling us their truth – that not always help us succeed.

A positive mindset can be a powerful tool in helping you thrive after cancer. From the moment you learn about it, the never-ending self-talk, going through it, and afterwards. Here’s how it can help you:

  1. Enhances your resilience: Starting from the idea of it, the diagnostic, go through treatment and the prognostic can all be both physically and emotionally draining. Sadly, many people decide to just just give up. A positive mindset can change the outcome even before it starts and help you build resilience to bounce back from any setback life presents you.
  2. Increases your motivation: Believing “this too shall pass”, will give the strength you need to continue with treatment and recovery. It can also help you stay committed to making positive changes in your lifestyle.
  3. Improves your overall well-being: Finding ways to stay positive doing things you love, getting inspired by others who have succeeded, can help you manage stress, anxiety, and depression. Grounding yourself back to the present can also improve your overall well-being and quality of life.

There are inspiring stories of countless people who have thrived after cancer. Here are a few:

  1. Lance Armstrong: a former professional cyclist diagnosed with fatal metastatic testicular cancer in 1996. After undergoing surgery and chemotherapy, he went on to win seven consecutive Tour de France titles. He founded the Livestrong Foundation, helping millions of people affected by cancer.
  2. Olivia Newton-John: actress and singer diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992. After undergoing treatment, she became an advocate for breast cancer awareness and started the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness and Research Centre.
  3. Kris Carr: Kris Carr is a wellness activist and author who was diagnosed with a rare and incurable form of cancer in 2003. She has since become an advocate for healthy living and has written several books, including “Crazy Sexy Cancer.”
  4. Myself, a “normal person” just like you that thought it was the end… Awaken by cancer, I rebirth to a new life of self-discovery where I found myself and my mission to inspire and empower people to their best life.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

If you or someone you know is going through cancer, here are some actionable tips to help you not only survive this phase, but thrive:

  1. Cultivate a positive mindset: Focus on the things that bring you joy, watch out for the “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts and override them with successful cases. Always have a positive attitude.
  2. Build a support system: Choose to surround yourself with uplifting people who support and encourage you. This can include family, friends, support groups, and healthcare professionals. Move away from negativity. Feed yourself with inspiring stories of overcoming challenges.
  3. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being: Exercise regularly (if you can), eat a healthy diet, get quality sleep, and stay present, instead of inside your head thinking bad scenarios that create stress and anxiety.
  4. Set goals: to stay motivated and focused on your after-recovery. Aim high but start with small, achievable goals and work your way up.
  5. Be kind to yourself: It is okay not to be okay… PJ days are also allowed. It’s important to allow yourself to rest when you need it and go easy on yourself if things don’t go as planned, sometimes it is for the best.

Whether you think you can or that you can’t, you are correct.

Henry Ford

Make sure you become your own advocate. Talk to the doctors, ask questions, look for a second opinion. Always choose the positive side, have a winning attitude. Believe you can do this too, as many did. Try to see things from a different perspective, reframe, aiming new possibilities.

I did it, so can you. I believe. Please do. Make a decision today that you are okay. Let’s together bring light and inspire the world. It’s much needed.

Sending you Love, Healing, Blessings & Gratitude,

SZ

P.S. Everything I talk about is based on my own surviving journey and my thriving experience. None of this substitute doctor’s advice or treatment. Those are add-ons success factors. Follow your treatment, believing those are just the steps you have to go through to get to the thriving side. Find a doctor that is optimistic and positive. They often present us statistics and numbers, but we are much more than that, discuss that too. Get a therapist and a coach also, if you can, as part of your “Thriving strategy”. This winning team should be aligned and focused on you aiming your best life.

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Letting Go to Move On https://blog.livefully2day.com/letting-go-to-move-on/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=letting-go-to-move-on https://blog.livefully2day.com/letting-go-to-move-on/#respond Fri, 31 Dec 2021 21:07:49 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=922 Continue Reading]]>

We always have a choice. We can (and should) get rid of things that no longer serve us, instead of carrying extra weight around and keep stuff just for the sake of not paying attention to what’s already “there”.

But as everything else in life, to accomplish something, conscious intention is required. A decision to pause and ask yourself: how is this serving me? Many of the stuff we keep, mostly happen because we don’t give it proper attention as it shows up in our world. According to many organizers experts, you should touch things just once and right there make a decision: keep it, or don’t: donate, throw it out / get rid of it or exchange/ bring it back – obviously you don’t want it and all these categories just justify how you feel about disposing it. The one rule to keep something is to truly love it. According to Marie Kondo, it must spark joy or you will be just moving it around until you’re ready to face the truth and (finally) bless & release it.

It sounds simple when we refer to stuff. However there is much more on the table… and involved in this. We are talking about people, behaviors, old beliefs, attitude, habits, self-pity, lifestyle, whatever it is. It all involves a decision to change, to let go of what no longer fits you (or has never done) to finally face it and deal with it. It may sound harsh but it’s about it. Not doing or dealing with it is pure waste: of money, time, life, you name it.

Staying in a relationship that is no longer working is a waste of life. Pretending everything is OK when both know it’s not and you have already tried whatever it is and didn’t work. No one is supposed to sacrifice. Be with someone is a daily choice. Nobody “has to put up with someone else’s lack of maturity”. Stop, be an adult, you know it’s time to face it. Just do it.
What about those old ways of being!? Are you happy with your life, your results, your health, your finances, work, relationships !? It’s all a reflection of what’s going on inside, 100%. We attract what we are. We’re actually like a magnet, whatever frequency we operate from, we’re bringing to us all the same. Focusing on what you don’t want will bring you more of the same.

End of the year is a great opportunity to get rid of old calendars, planners and scheduler. How about we add a few more things into that bulk and leave it all behind – make it history -and stop talking about it!?

Let’s make room for the NEW and choose intentionally what you want.

A few questions will guide you and help you build your wish list. But there’s a couple of rules… 1. Believe it is possible and that writing it down, will speed up bringing them up to your reality. 2. No if’s, buts, once this or that ( and don’t wants are prohibited!). Seriously imagine for a second that whatever burning desire you entertain in your mind and think of in details, there’s a gene of the lamp responding:”Your wish is my command” as in magic… wouldn’t you want to add a zero to the financial goal? Another room to the dream home? Be a bit more specific into describing your ideal work, or life partner!?


The big problem we have is that we were conditioned to accept whatever, because most of us grew up in a scarcity mentality, but that is not what God intended for us, but to enjoy, to experience things, to be, to have and to be witness of His abundance and prosperity – an exaggeration of magnificence.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord: “plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”

Jeremiah 29:11

Light a candle, or use some essential oil in a diffuser, play some ambience music and take the time to give in to your imagination and allow it to manifest beautiful things you desire, journaling into these prompts / questions…

What would I love to happen in 2022?
Wouldn’t be wonderful that this year….

Where would I love to have accomplished this new year?
my brand new perfect life and the most wonderful lifestyle I deserve is now my new reality… I live… I work… I shop… I get up… I create…

I can’t believe all these things happened at work / my business…so fast!

What a miracle to live a relationship like this…

I absolutely love living in my dream home

My finances have quantum leaped and I am living a dream, with luxury, abundance and prosperity. I feel wonderful in every purchase I make, …

I absolutely love the way I look, my body, mind and spirit are in sync and beautifully expressing my truth, living a happy, meaningful and fulfilling life, helping others by ….

I show up as my most divine self every single day, as my best version, to my family, loved ones, friends, clients, prospects. I am loved, respected, admired, beautiful, powerful, limitless. I feel blessed, guided and inspired!

I am a divine expression of God and am here for an amazing mission I’m enthused and honored with this opportunity. So grateful for all the lessons and blessing propelling me forward in this perfect journey I call my most perfect life.

Keep the pen moving, the fingers typing, the voice dictating, whatever your style is. Put energy into this and allow it to come to fruition. You deserve it!

Remember to forget the old, rusty luggage behind, together with all the bad stuff. Enter into 2022 with Faith in the knowing that “ Your desire is God working through you” – Robert A Russell

Happy Clean Slate! Make it beautiful, shine, colorful, just the way you want!
Decide that 2022 is a Very Happy New Year, no matter what !

Cheers to a wonderful opportunity to make it right, and to love it ❤!!!

Sheyla

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Freedom https://blog.livefully2day.com/freedom/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=freedom https://blog.livefully2day.com/freedom/#respond Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:33:55 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=917 Continue Reading]]>

After one of my sessions with my therapist, we were talking about how I can be independent, autonomy and happy no matter where I am, with the person I am, doing whatever I am doing – how can I be myself fully – regardless – as a reflection he asked me to write about – what is freedom to me.

Interesting enough I had just read the amazing book The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer. At the end of the book, he talks about “Unconditional Happiness”, which means making a decision to be happy no matter what happens to you, in your life – I love that concept

I see lots of people practicing “Conditional Happiness” – once this or that happens I will be happy, after I heal, as soon as I get a job, if I get the promotion… I’m sure when I find someone… when we get married… by the time we have kids… there is an infinite list of things that must happen.

But the challenge is truly to put all those things aside and make a decision that no matter what happens, be happy. Even if your wife leaves you, even if your husband dies, or the stock market crashes, or your car breaks down or even if you go to jail. – says the author

“Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?”

There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It’s not a question of whether your happiness is under your control. Of course it’s under your control. It’s just what you don’t really mean it when you say you’re willing to stay happy. You want to qualify it. You want to say that as long as this doesn’t happen, or as long as that does happen, then you’re willing to be happy. That’s why it seems like it is out of your control. Any condition you create will limit your happiness. You simply aren’t going to be able to control things and keep them the way you want them.

Michael A. Singer

Why are you talking about happiness, if this post is about freedom, Sheyla, you may be asking yourself? Well, think about, are they related or not?

…and here is what I came up with speaking about Freedom

Freedom for me is doing what I want, when I want, and the way I want.
Dress as I choose, buy what I like, enjoy what gives me pleasure.

Freedom for me is being the owner of my own nose, coming and going as I please.

Freedom for me is to express myself freely, do what I want, without judging me or caring about what the others think, says or how they act towards me.

Freedom for me is choosing the life I want, having what is important to me, enjoying it with whoever I am with, anytime and for as long as I want. (Does this sound like I’m using the other person? It did as I first wrote, but now, it sounds like basics to me, isn’t!? If I am not to choose my own life, who else?)

Freedom is embodying my convictions, being true to them until I change my mind – and being okay with that too!

The more I write the more I realize how to be free is to be selfish… is it? And being selfish is ugly. It’s not a God’s thing. Is it? What about the thing about loving my neighbor as thyself? If I don’t love myself, how can I understand or either love others?

It sounds like a mess…, is it? Not? To me now, it’s really seems to be clear.

Freedom is breathing, moving, going, staying, looking, feeling, smelling, eating, touching, listening to what I want, when I want, as much as I want, however I want, whenever I want and for as long as I want, anytime I want.

Ah this is freedom. Decide what to think, what to want, what to imagine, what to rationalize, what to follow, what to believe. It’s putting my will into work and to act upon whatever I feel inspired to. It is choosing the perspective I want and that suits me, it’s having faith that what I’m doing (or not doing) is the right thing. Freedom is being aware of it all, honoring each one of them and feeling good about myself. It’s knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing the right thing and exactly what I’m doing (or not doing) and the way I’m doing it – with or without company – I pick.

Freedom is listening without having to react, choosing what moves me or makes me reflect. It’s understanding that it’s up to me, only me, to act or not, to do or not, to have or not, to be or not. Sounds complex… It isn’t, really, now as I read it all seem way too simple.

Freedom is being 100% responsible for me, in all aspects, body, mind and spirit. Being in control, in charge, or getting carried away. Freedom is understanding that my life, my results, my appearance, my relationships, my profession, absolutely everything was (or is) my choice, or lack of it (which is also a choice), my consequence (depending on what I did or did not – now as I hear myself saying it – “I stopped doing it” sounds like I was supposed to have done something but didn’t honor with my commitment ” – but I get it now that it is not the case at all), my decisions.

Freedom is allowing my gifts and talents to unfold without judgment.

To be authentic, real, natural, express myself fully, expand, grow, stay, move, go for it, get some rest, take a day off, have a PJ day, run a marathon, play when I feel like it, start something new, stop something I don’t like, get rid of what doesn’t spark joy anymore, buy what pleases my eyes or makes my heart sing.

Being free is to be myself truly, all of it, or none of it, anytime, anywhere, anyway, my most divine being, my best version, me here & now and be okay with it.

Freedom is to own all the concepts I choose to label myself and to get rid of the ones someone else given but don’t represent me at all. Freedom is to be confident, exuberant, a free spirit, beautiful, sophisticated, elegant, powerful, a believer, a relentless student, faithful, limitless, a leader, a follower, a server, a survivor, an inspiration, a motivador, a speaker, a woman ahead of her time, a blessing, an angel, a daughter of God, a treasure finder, a grateful heart, an appreciator, conscious awareness, love, light, compassion, harmony, peace and more. Freedom is to embody each one of those magnificent descriptions of God’s perfect creation. It is to be all of it, or none of it when it fits me. Freedom is to be okay with and not even make a big deal about going towards things, places and people I choose to and want more of or walk away from the ones that have already served their purpose in my life. It is to experience life my own unique way, living in this body I was entrusted and enjoy my exclusive freewill.

To be free is to show up in my most naked self, with or without make up on, in a good or bad hair day, perfect or bitten nails, over or under weight, respecting myself as I look in the mirror and deal with others and respecting others no matter what they do, say or how they act.

Freedom is to always find a way to bring something good to someone, to cheer up their day, bring light to their lives, a smile to their face, hope to their heart, while bring truth to myself and my unique way of living.

Freedom is to forgive myself and others and let it go the poison it brings to my mind, it is to silence my busy self-talk and to tune into what I decide to listen to. It is to feel okay when I am not okay and to dance and jump around when I am in full ecstasy and excitement. Freedom is to walk barefoot, enjoy walking in the rain, dance when I hear “Dancing Queen”, cry each and every time there’s an upcoming overflow of tears in my eyes. Freedom is to get involved deeply, let myself go, stay with it and allow all the feeling to take me over. It is to be insane, love something and a minutes later change my opinion and be okay with that. Freedom is to walk away from what I once loved, but no longer do; it is to not be eternally responsible for what I’ve once cultivated. Freedom is to express my opposite vision of the Little Prince MO and whoever else, of course respectfully having my own point of view and understanding people that happen to have a different opinion – and remain friends with them – if that’s what both sides want…

Freedom is simple, it is simply to live my own, exclusive, unique life. Freedom is to say all these things, to own my truth and feel myself proud.

If I got to be free, I’ve got to be me, Not the “me” you think I should be, not the “me” my spouse thinks I should be, not the “me” my kids think I should be. If I got to be free, I’ve got to me, the “me” I should be.

Bob Proctor

Feel free to agree… In order for me to be free, I’ve got to be me. That’s it!

Are you free!? What is freedom for you?

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The time I did not have Breast Cancer https://blog.livefully2day.com/the-time-i-did-not-have-breast-cancer/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-time-i-did-not-have-breast-cancer https://blog.livefully2day.com/the-time-i-did-not-have-breast-cancer/#comments Wed, 06 Oct 2021 20:04:01 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=833 Continue Reading]]>

It was Sept/2012 and I thought I had already gone through all kinds of challenges and that nothing else would threaten my world. But of course it wasn’t the case… It was not yet the time to be sure of myself, strong, and with a confident self-image.

A bomb was dropped in my lap. My usually normal yearly mammogram came back with a Bi raids 4 – “suspicious abnormality on your breast imaging studies. A biopsy should be considered as a next step” – they tried to do all kinds of imaging but unfortunately it did not work. I had once again to go through surgery…

As soon as they said that, that very moment, I convinced myself that I had breast cancer. Watching all those women sitting around in an unfamiliar waiting room of the very same hospital I was so used to, has impacted me tremendously. Some were losing their hair, others lost it all already, a few were wearing scarfs beautifully shaping their perfectly round heads, elegant and purposely planned. Most of them did not have at least one of their breasts… and there I was entering a completely new journey I was not okay with, doomed by Micro calcifications no one could diagnose without once again cutting, checking and removing another piece of my body. 

My first marriage had ruined my self-image, my ex-husband was really good at pointing out all my imperfections and making sure I was aware and completely self-conscious of my body.  After I divorced him, it took me perhaps 10 years to rescue myself from down the heel and finally recover. 

As I was approaching a new positive self-image milestone, I was almost happy with myself, the way I looked, my general appearance, my body… and then this… 

-“Just in case, we will make sure we remove all the micro calcifications, instead of just biopsing” – Doctor Maria do Socorro explained to me. 

So what!? Why?? I thought… then you come back and even though you’ve got it all already, once it is confirmed, you take the whole right breast? What is the point… I don’t get it… I was so upset I could not rationalize…

The conversation in my head was so loud I couldn’t ask any question or even acknowledge her approach or decisions towards what to do with my own body, but just accepted whatever she said…  I walked out of her office – the appointment to understand the next steps, already mastectomyED…

The surgery day arrived and I had multiple and diverse fantasies I had created in my head. All of them were really bad… they would open and see “all those ugly things” and decide right there that the best thing to do would be to remove the whole breast right.  Another one would be that they would remove only the micro calcifications, but the damage done during the surgery was irreparable. This last one was based on my own experience at the Cancer hospital – because their focus is always to remove the “thing” they consider the problem, whatever it takes, even if you have to walk out of there handicap. 

I became a master in fantasizing “worst-case scenarios” and to me, they were real.

I was completely shocked with what I saw the day after the surgery, when I could finally “check” the result of their work and the impact in my body. The scar was a state of art, immaculate perfectly around the nipple curve, almost imperceptive. Except for the bruises, there was nothing visually depressing. It was almost a relief if I did not start focusing on the mystery of the pathology results. 

Another way too long unknown period of apprehension and expectancy. 

One thing that I most hated was the never-ending waiting time, either to know what was going to be the prognostic, what the doctor had to say about such and such image or test result or every time something went to be “checked” – the timeframe of pathological anatomy results. More time in my hands to live in depressing fantasy land and the fear of the unknown.

It was a couple of weeks before Christmas when I finally got to see the doctor again and finally talk to her, because even if I did before the general anesthesia took effect, I had no recollection of the fact. 

This picture was taken later that year 2012 at my ranch, back in Brasil with my now husband

This time my boyfriend was with me, American and just barely started to speak Portuguese decided to get into the doctor’s office with me and chat with the doctor, ask questions, next steps, etc. I felt cared for and protected and actually loved that he did. I remember sitting at the bed, the doctor examining me, and they two talking back and forth. There were moments I believe the doctor was talking directly to me, but the conversation in my head was way too loud and busy. I was having a hard time trying to make sense of becoming bald, wear a wig or not, hide with a scarf or not, would my head be nice and round as many women? what about my gigantic ears? everybody was going to make fun of me… I was going to look terrible… no one would look at me anymore – my long hair signature tale was over. What about losing the breast, the boyfriend, bringing my self-image back to the mud. If she ever talked to me directly, I have no idea what she said, truly. 

Then I heard “Bom Natal”, which means “Merry Christmas” and apparently it was time to leave, but I had no idea what just happened there.

My then boyfriend looked at me as we walked out of the office and mentioned” What a weird doctor!”. – Really? I asked… Why do you say that? Wasn’t it inappropriate of her to tell me that? – What do you mean? I asked. You didn’t hear!? He asked, shocked. She called me “Bonitao”, he nodded incongruently, not believing what just happened…

No, she didn’t. I corrected him. She said Bom Natal, not Bonitao. My sense of humor was numb. The grieving process was taking its course in my head.

I kind of felt he was trying to cheer me up with his usual corny jokes, but he actually thought the doctor called him: Handsome. My thoughts took over again. I was numbed and now frustrated, having no idea of my own prognostic. I was very low, devastated, but he seemed to be okay and in good spirits. We stopped at the “Casa do Pao de Queijo” still inside the hospital and ordered two coffees and a basket of mini pao de queijo – a traditional cheese bread brazilians die for it. I was having a relationship with my own coffee, the pao de queijo and my thoughts. Speechless, blinded. A thousand things coming to mind at the same time, I couldn’t stop them. I was devastated, I couldn’t see the positive in that, I wasn’t in the mood to talk, to be cheered up, to listen or to do anything, but just to  keep giving energy to the crazy negative thoughts that seemed to have taken over my ability to choose for myself, make decisions, or make them stop. Aren’t you happy!? he asked… Relief!? He carefully added…

-Me!? No. Why? Why should I be?  

-He looked at me confused, but very aware of the mining zone he was stepping into… 

I kept staring at my coffee, breast-less, bald, unloved, uncared, ugly, no self-image, tired of cancer and all the destruction it had already caused in my life. I thought I was a survivor, graduated, MBAed in cancer… a fortress, almost immortal. I thought there wouldn’t be anything that would bring me down, that I got it… but that one really played a role on me. Put myself back into the familiar and automated butchery material mode – no self-image. You are okay… he said, carefully spelling every letter in each word

-You say that because it is not you. Enough of this! I said angrily. 

-Honey, he called carefully, firmly and lovingly… did you hear what the doctor said?

-Bom Natal? I replied

-No, before that. Do you understand what is happening? He very gently started

-What? I tried to raise my head and look at him. 

-You are okay… he said very slowly and beautifully

-Even if you are okay with me without my breast, I am not, I said. I never thought this would affect me like this. I don’t want to go through this. It took me a lifetime to rescue myself from my marriage, my past and the way I used to feel about myself. I started crying, desperate.

He took my hands, looked deep into my eyes and repeated.

-Honey, you are okay, the results were negative. There is nothing else you have to do. It is over. You are healthy and I love you no matter what.

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How hard is it to make it easy? https://blog.livefully2day.com/how-hard-is-it-to-make-it-easy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-hard-is-it-to-make-it-easy https://blog.livefully2day.com/how-hard-is-it-to-make-it-easy/#respond Wed, 25 Aug 2021 02:13:44 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=888 Continue Reading]]>

A True Story

I’m sitting in a quiet room at the Millcroft Inn, a peaceful little place hidden behind the pine trees about an hour out of Toronto. It’s just past noon, late July, and I’m listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death struggle going on a few feet away.

There’s a small fly burning out the last of its short life’s energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of a windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly’s strategy — try harder. But it’s not working, The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle is a part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and determination. This fly is doomed to die. It will die there on the windowsill.

Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.

Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that this particular route, and determined effort, offers the most promise for success? What logic is there in continuing, until death, to seek a breakthrough with “more of the same”? No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it’s an idea that will kill.

“Trying harder” isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s a big part of the problem.

If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.

Price Pritchett – You2

The first time I heard this story I can’t begin to tell you how many bells rang to me… One of the strongest values imprinted by my father was “Work hard” and still you will barely make it. He’s a healthy 78 yo man and spend every single day working on his or my brother’s yard – every day from 9 to 5 with an hour for lunch. He is happy doing what he loves, being with himself with very few social interaction. The way he learned, strongly believe and still is loyal to.

A year ago I entered into a program and when responding to a questionnaire question I realized I was still living my life based on that very same value… First I got shocked, then I smiled and realized that the program must be really good, bringing stuff like that to the surface and giving me the opportunity to work them out.

I’ve been learning about quantum leaps, the Laws of the Universe, The effortless way, how our mind works. Lots of stuff that have already convinced me it does not have to be hard. It shouldn’t, actually.

I see a lot of people trying to hard to look easy, but because I am very good in reading between the lines, I can see what they are hiding. Worse than that, all I hear is what they are not saying. I am an empath and connect with people’s energy very easily. You can’t hide stuff from me, ever. I just know.

Interesting how on the other hand, there are a few people that “made it” and are desperate trying to show everyone that they too can do it.

Look at me, a cancer survivor, if I started telling you all the stuff I went through, it would look like a terror movie. I know people are living terrible things right now, and don’t want to say my case was worse than anyone.

What I am eager to show to the world is that this is how it looks like on the other side. It becomes almost an obsession to help others, to “convince” them of their birth rights, that they are “entitled” to a happy, healthy, fulfilled life, regardless what they are going through right now. I did, so can them.

We tend to get blind as we are experiencing stuff, trying too hard to be in control and make things happen “our way”, but it doesn’t work like that. Faith is what you need, to replace the fear of the worse case scenario with the faith in the best case scenario. That is the bridge.

As soon as you do that, you will notice how things changed, even though they are all the same – it is because you’ve changed the lenses on which you see the world – your perception and that alone will shift your whole world to a complete different place.

The most important one: Be yourself and be sure it is the best thing you can be. This is the only thing that will release you to freedom. Know that there is only one of you, you are unique, special and beautiful just the way you are. Better than that, once you are not trying to be someone else, but your true self, you will feel a drop in a huge weight out of your back and finally feel free.

“Blessed is she that believed; for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.”

Luke 1:45

The effortless way is how you might be able to fly to an open door…

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Soul Mate https://blog.livefully2day.com/soul-mate/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=soul-mate https://blog.livefully2day.com/soul-mate/#respond Thu, 19 Aug 2021 23:01:21 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=883 Continue Reading]]> A tribute to Stacie Chevrier

Today I woke up to a world with one less friend… How is that possible? I am devastated. I can’t believe it, I just can’t. She’s so young, beautiful, full of life.

So grateful her memory is alive in this video, because I really needed to see her once more…

I’ve been working on my business, generating content, talking to my audience, engaging with people and for a very long time, I haven’t been “me”. I don’t even remember when was the last time I’ve posted something in my personal page or interacted with people there. Yesterday evening my husband shared one of our precious moments together in our back porch listening to the rain and Adriana Calcanhoto https://open.spotify.com/track/4XXaIb6V1u0X5Ao2xzeotr . So this morning I decided to log into my personal account and take a look… sent love to lots of people, engaged in some comments and kept scrolling until I saw it.

This is the second time that Facebook tells me that someone I truly care about is no long among us. I am not going to get into how unfair and sad this is. The first time was my grandmother – which seemed to be a racing among my cousins as there was some kind of prize to the first place. That is how I learned about her death. unbelievable. unforgettable. unforgivable. Thank God I was able to release all that pain already.

I’ve been thinking about Stacie for some time and meant to contact her. I felt like she had disappeared and I missed her. I remembered sending her a voice message after watching a movie where the antagonist looked just like her.

“Hard to believe it’s just been one year since I lost my dear friend.” said the post from a common friend Christine Partch.

I used to volunteer at Gilda’s Club Nashville, conceiving and delivering workshops for people impacted by Cancer based on my survival journey. Their mail letter informed me about the Creative Expressive Writing at VICC – https://news.vumc.org/2015/09/03/new-creative-writing-course-geared-for-cancer-community/ sponsored by Vanderbilt. Aware of English being my second language, I accepted their suggestion to use those moments as some kind of therapy, journaling or whatever I want to reflect on. That’s were I met Stacie, sometime between 2015 and 2016 at the Curb in those wonderful classes facilitated by Anna Silverstein.

The stories we heard from each person that wanted to share whatever the prompt inspired them to write about were so beautiful, profound and heart felt. It was impossible not to fall in love with one another, know their true self and finally understand the concept of Soul Mate. We not only spoke the same language but also shared the same pain. Trying to get back to “normal life” after a life sentencing diagnosis and experience…

Stacie was always very elegant in her jeans, t-shirt, comfortable shoes, scarfs on winter, a cross body bag, her iPhone and the keyboard where she would type her way out. Each and every time she would share what she wrote, I used to be amazed. How in 20 min writing someone can come up with that!? I used to think. But she did, and she wasn’t the only one. Getting back into my writing from those times, except for the poor English, grammar, syntax, concordance, etc the depth and the ideas were inspiring.

We’ve shared many workshops together and she was very supportive of my writing. So many times I remember her telling me to focus on the writing idea and forget everything else. I used to feel less because I was a foreigner, but they were all so wonderful to me. It was all in my head, I guess, but it hasn’t stopped me.

After being in so many workshops I decided to walk away for a bit. Without communicating to one another, it seemed like we all shared the same thoughts. Spring 2019 I decided to get back partially and met a whole new group of people. They were also wonderful and lovely, but not the original group, but I decided to stay as I realized how much I missed. They were working on an Anthology and I proudly submitted a few pieces of my writing work. Even though the facilitator of the class always changes after a couple of seasons, it is a blessing to know each one of them and to see how in the world is possible to always have wonderful people leading those amazing classes. Lina was the one that time, she was moving to Texas and Vandy organized a reception where each person could ready their piece.

This was the last time we saw each other and talked

That was the last time I saw Stacie. May 2019, just a few days before her birthday. She wasn’t in the class, but published the incredible memoir of her pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela – which I remember her reading the raw piece as she came back from the trip and sharing with us in class, back in 2016/17. The original piece was called: “When I die, call Kevin”, to me, it was love at first sight. I am not sure how many editions and when she decided to change the title, but it has been perfect from the first version as I walked with her in her words.

I was so happy to see her again, it brought back memories of a happy time, when I first discovered my passion for writing, our group, the support, the fun, the meals we shared, the unconditional love and support to one another. It was the first time I saw her with hair and I couldn’t help myself but to comment how beautiful she was also with it. She smiled and touching it at the shoulders length mentioned how much and fast it’s growing again… She read her piece and I went back to Spain with her once again, and to the classes at the West End Avenue over breakfast, in front of the Parthenon, where she first shared her treasure with us.

I left the bathroom this morning and couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t believe it has been a whole year she is no longer in this dimension. I missed her puppies posts, her birthday donations posts on her birthday, her smile, spontaneity, authenticity, her angelic way of being herself.

It is not natural to see someone that young leaving. I still can’t believe it.

I found her everywhere as I was looking for comfort throughout the day and had to pay an homage to her. I am so grateful we’ve met, shared so much during our human experience. I can’t describe my state of gratitude for her legacy and how much she’s been, done and inspired us. I also stole a piece from her blog, written by her loved ones, which I second to the letter…

“Although she is gone, she is forever in our hearts.  She touched so many lives during her short time on earth.  Stacie was grateful for every life experience and viewed everything as a new adventure.  As she laid knowing the end was near, she said,

“I’m excited to see what’s on the other side.”  

Stacie Chevrier

May we all take a piece of Stacie’s grace, wisdom, optimism and enlightenment with us every day on our journey through life.  RIP Stacie. Forever Young.  Forever Beautiful.  We love you so much!

I told my husband about it all, back at the swing in our porch this morning and mentioned that voice message I left her, when I realized I’ve never checked it back, and then I did…

“Thank you Sheyla! So sweet to hear your voice.:)

Reflecting upon such a loss, I got inspired to share this video today as it has everything to do with the message I want to share with the world. I pray that it touches your heart & you like.

Don’t let it kill you, before you die

Stacie Chevrier
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Why ? https://blog.livefully2day.com/why/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=why https://blog.livefully2day.com/why/#respond Thu, 22 Apr 2021 19:07:11 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=837 Continue Reading]]> Why do we take so hard on ourselves?

Why do we see beauty on everyone else but us?

Why don’t we see perfection at the mirror?

Why do we criticize every tiny bit of ourselves and overlook serious stuff around us?

Why are we so quick to condemn and so slow to forgive?

Why we, God’s highest form of creation still doubt and many times deny our Creator?

A Majestic Sunset – God’s Master Piece from my driveway in Spring Hill, TN – April 13th,21

Why can’t we love ourselves the same way we love our children? 

Why don’t we accept, honor, respect, appreciate and love ourselves but expect others to do it? 

Why wouldn’t we recognize our value, acknowledge and feel proud until/unless someone else does it?

Why? Why don’t we, Why can’t we, Why wouldn’t we? Why? 

Sheyla Zito

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I can’t believe you did that! https://blog.livefully2day.com/i-cant-believe-you-did-that/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=i-cant-believe-you-did-that https://blog.livefully2day.com/i-cant-believe-you-did-that/#respond Thu, 01 Apr 2021 00:21:18 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=831 Continue Reading]]> How many times have you said those very words to yourself?

I myself can relate to that.

There has been a time in my life when I realized how many bad decisions I made, how poorly I have chosen things and how clueless I was in my approach and the way I experienced life.

It happened right after the moment I realized how unhappy I was.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

Epictetus (55-135) Greek Philosopher

It was my 30th birthday. I woke up and did not want to leave the room, I did not want to see anyone. All I cared about was my 5yo son and the baby I was carrying in my belly, nothing else. I used to live in a tiny 40 mts2 apt with my ex-husband and his mother. It was very complicated.

The marriage was wrong from the beginning, circumstances brought me to that very moment. Four months after my baby was born, I was diagnosed with Melanoma and another one two months later. I had to stop breastfeeding my baby and to me it was the most devastating part of the story.

I had moved away from my family because I was convinced no one loved me or even cared for me. I was alone. It was hard. Two years later another cancer threat scared me and I believed it was my time to die. It was real, I was devastated, depressed and hopeless.

How I came out of that is subject for another day, but thank God I did and am so grateful for it.

Years after my separation I learned to forgive… I thought I did, but I truly did not. It happened while working on my annulment paperwork…

As I relived every single episode of my story, what happened to me and how I used to blame my parents for being in that marriage, my ex-husband for being the way he was and myself for getting stuck into that situation…

I understood that whatever my parents did, imposed or said was because of their belief system, the way they learned how to live, to survive based on their own education, life experiences, perception, how they were raised and so much more. It was not their fault, but the way they saw the world, and it was their reality. The positive intention behind all that was to protect me – the way they knew how to do it. And I forgave them.

The same for my ex-husband, who had his own traumas and problems in life that have never been resolved and he kept living the same relationship with different people – it just happened that at that time I was the victim…

The hardest one was to look into all that I did, chose, things I wish I took another route… Of course looking from today’s eyes, things seemed obvious. Thank God I have evolved. If I had to make the same decisions today, of course they would be different, but at that time, I convinced myself that it was what I knew and did the best I could then. I saw myself as a my younger version, begging for understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and love and I made a decision to surrender to that beautiful young and naive soul. I have also chosen to believe that I am living my own journey – as everyone else – and that there is no right or wrong, but the choices I make that will determine the outcome of it all – and of course the consequences.

Each day is a new day, a new opportunity to start new, fresh and in a clean slate. Making peace with all that have hurt you has nothing to do with them, but freeing yourself up – so that you can finally fly.

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Don’t do that! https://blog.livefully2day.com/dont-do-that/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dont-do-that https://blog.livefully2day.com/dont-do-that/#respond Sat, 06 Feb 2021 22:13:17 +0000 https://blog.livefully2day.com/?p=654 Continue Reading]]> I hear a lot of people talking about a bunch of things they don’t want.

– “I don’t want to get sick.”, “I don’t want have debt.”, “I don’t want to die young.”, “I don’t want to arrive late at work.”, “I don’t want to get depressed.”, “I do not want to overeat.” … and the list goes on…

The weird thing is that all that they seem to avoid is what end up by happening…

It is really amazing how aware people are of all the things they DO NOT WANT. But when you ask them:

What do you really want?

They look at you like you’ve just landed from Mars…

– I just told you… they reply not understanding what you are talking about.

Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7
Alexa, Do NOT play Christmas music!

We think in images. Our conscious mind creates images as indexes and a sophisticated searching mechanism. Each time we hear or say something, the brain “creates” an image to identify what that is; and the interesting thing is, even when we add “don’t” before the thing it still does the same work: either creates the new image or Retrieve a previous one once stored.

Let’s say I tell you: “do not think of a blue vase“!

<wait a few seconds> Tell me, what happened!?

Did you think of a blue vase, or did you not?

I bet you did 😉

Second question: how did you blue vase look like!?

I googled: “blue vase” and saw thousands of images that I would never have imagined a blue vase would look like… then I found this one here and thought it was very interesting…

Did your blue vase look like this one!?

I bet it did not 😀

But Why, you might be asking!?

You said “DO NOT” think of a blue vase!

Why did I think of it?

Because, as I’ve mentioned, we think in images and at the moment I said blue vase, perhaps there was already a register of a blue vase in our brain – from a time in your life – that you probably don’t even recall, but it was there… it was indexed, so as your brain captured the information required – “Blue Vase” – like a searching mechanism, it looked for all that somewhat matched that request (pretty much what google does) and immediately brought you the image related to what you’ve heard of and instantaneously thought of.

Your mind found what you were searching for – made an association – then, only after that, it tried to apply the “do not”, “don’t”, “not”, “never”, etc… but because the image was already there, created or retrieved, by the time you recognize it was a negative request, it is too late. The whole process had already happened.

It seems complicated, but really it isn’t.

Do you recall someone trying to tell a small child or a baby to not do something and the very second they finish the sentence, the kid did exactly what was asked – like they were given a command: “Do not put your finger in the outlet“, “do not touch the stove“, “Do not throw the toy“… and as an urge to please the asking parent, the baby did it all, proudly as it was requested (and their brain knew how to process the information).

No matter how old we get, we still operate the same way.

That is why it is so important to say and state all the things you want. All that you wish to see happening and you would like to have. Instead of chanting to the Universe all the problems, bad relationships, abusive jobs, illness, debts and other things you DO NOT want in your life.

Now you know, you are aware.

Next time you catch yourself thinking, telling yourself or even talking to others that way, STOP. Take a deep breath and think what is the opposite of those bad things you were thinking about… How would you say that in a positive way?

Because we were conditioned to think like this a very long time ago, some people have difficulties thinking the positive way.

Here are a few examples: “I want to be healthy, happy and fulfilled”, ” I want to live fully and prosper”, “I want to enjoy the lifestyle I’ve always wanted and deserve”, “I want to live in my dream home.”, “I want to have a respectful, loving, affectionate and good looking partner.”, “I want to be close to and to spend quality time with the people I love.”, “I want to do what I love and create a profitable life using my God giving talents.”, “I want to practice gratitude daily.”, “I want to let it go things, resentments and bad experiences.”, “I want to forgive and be forgiven.”, …and so much more…

What is that you want?

Imagine for a second about the pizza ordering system. When you think or say something, that “request” is heard and registered and the process of making it happen, starts. The more you talk about, think of it and get emotionally attached to it, faster it will be ready for delivery.

Let’s play a little bit with one of our mental faculties here: our Imagination.

Every time you say or think of things, I want you to imagine sound waves – carrying it out to the Universe all your wishes and desires. To represent the process of the Universe “listening to you” and “processing your requests” to getting things done, imagine you’ve rubbed the lamp and a genius pops up. No matter what it is, good or bad things – you will get it. The more involved you get, the more emotional and connected to the feeling of “already seeing it happen”, more probable it shall happen and materialize into the physical world.

Whatever you say, imagine the Universe responding to you:

– “Your wish is my command!”

Knowing that, what would you focus on, now that you are aware?

Would you ask for what you’ve been avoiding or the things you truly want?

What is that you really really want?

Say it out loud. Write it down. Make a list.

BELIEVE.

Repeat it to yourself daily until it happens!

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