Why do we see beauty on everyone else but us?

Why don’t we see perfection at the mirror?

Why do we criticize every tiny bit of ourselves and overlook serious stuff around us?

Why are we so quick to condemn and so slow to forgive?

Why we, God’s highest form of creation still doubt and many times deny our Creator?

Why can’t we love ourselves the same way we love our children? 

Why don’t we accept, honor, respect, appreciate and love ourselves but expect others to do it? 

Why wouldn’t we recognize our value, acknowledge and feel proud until/unless someone else does it?

Why? Why don’t we, Why can’t we, Why wouldn’t we? Why? 

Sheyla Zito

– “I don’t want to get sick.”, “I don’t want have debt.”, “I don’t want to die young.”, “I don’t want to arrive late at work.”, “I don’t want to get depressed.”, “I do not want to overeat.” … and the list goes on…

The weird thing is that all that they seem to avoid is what end up by happening…

It is really amazing how aware people are of all the things they DO NOT WANT. But when you ask them:

– What do you really want?

They look at you like you’ve just landed from Mars…

– I just told you… they reply not understanding what you are talking about.

Ask, and it shall be given to you. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and it shall be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7

We think in images. Our conscious mind creates images as indexes and a sophisticated searching mechanism. Each time we hear or say something, the brain “creates” an image to identify what that is; and the interesting thing is, even when we add “don’t” before the thing it still does the same work: either creates the new image or Retrieve a previous one once stored.

Let’s say I tell you: “do not think of a blue vase“!

<wait a few seconds> Tell me, what happened!?

Did you think of a blue vase, or did you not?

I bet you did

Second question: how did you blue vase look like!?

I googled: “blue vase” and saw thousands of images that I would never have imagined a blue vase would look like… then I found this one here and thought it was very interesting…

Did your blue vase look like this one!?

I bet it did not

But Why, you might be asking!?

You said “DO NOT” think of a blue vase!

Why did I think of it?

Because, as I’ve mentioned, we think in images and at the moment I said blue vase, perhaps there was already a register of a blue vase in our brain – from a time in your life – that you probably don’t even recall, but it was there… it was indexed, so as your brain captured the information required – “Blue Vase” – like a searching mechanism, it looked for all that somewhat matched that request (pretty much what google does) and immediately brought you the image related to what you’ve heard of and instantaneously thought of.

Your mind found what you were searching for – made an association – then, only after that, it tried to apply the “do not”, “don’t”, “not”, “never”, etc… but because the image was already there, created or retrieved, by the time you recognize it was a negative request, it is too late. The whole process had already happened.

It seems complicated, but really it isn’t.

Do you recall someone trying to tell a small child or a baby to not do something and the very second they finish the sentence, the kid did exactly what was asked – like they were given a command: “Do not put your finger in the outlet“, “do not touch the stove“, “Do not throw the toy“… and as an urge to please the asking parent, the baby did it all, proudly as it was requested (and their brain knew how to process the information).

No matter how old we get, we still operate the same way.

That is why it is so important to say and state all the things you want. All that you wish to see happening and you would like to have. Instead of chanting to the Universe all the problems, bad relationships, abusive jobs, illness, debts and other things you DO NOT want in your life.

Now you know, you are aware.

Next time you catch yourself thinking, telling yourself or even talking to others that way, STOP. Take a deep breath and think what is the opposite of those bad things you were thinking about… How would you say that in a positive way?

Because we were conditioned to think like this a very long time ago, some people have difficulties thinking the positive way.

Here are a few examples: “I want to be healthy, happy and fulfilled”, ” I want to live fully and prosper”, “I want to enjoy the lifestyle I’ve always wanted and deserve”, “I want to live in my dream home.”, “I want to have a respectful, loving, affectionate and good looking partner.”, “I want to be close to and to spend quality time with the people I love.”, “I want to do what I love and create a profitable life using my God giving talents.”, “I want to practice gratitude daily.”, “I want to let it go things, resentments and bad experiences.”, “I want to forgive and be forgiven.”, …and so much more…

What is that you want?

Imagine for a second about the pizza ordering system. When you think or say something, that “request” is heard and registered and the process of making it happen, starts. The more you talk about, think of it and get emotionally attached to it, faster it will be ready for delivery.

Let’s play a little bit with one of our mental faculties here: our Imagination.

Every time you say or think of things, I want you to imagine sound waves – carrying it out to the Universe all your wishes and desires. To represent the process of the Universe “listening to you” and “processing your requests” to getting things done, imagine you’ve rubbed the lamp and a genius pops up. No matter what it is, good or bad things – you will get it. The more involved you get, the more emotional and connected to the feeling of “already seeing it happen”, more probable it shall happen and materialize into the physical world.

Whatever you say, imagine the Universe responding to you:

– “Your wish is my command!”

Knowing that, what would you focus on, now that you are aware?

Would you ask for what you’ve been avoiding or the things you truly want?

What is that you really really want?

Say it out loud. Write it down. Make a list.

BELIEVE.

Repeat it to yourself daily until it happens!

Those were the first words that came to mind as soon as I stepped out of 2020…

What a year that was, wasn’t it!?

What a wonderful thing this feeling of new beginnings… 

Nothing really happened, actually we just added “1” to the number and as in magic, everything transformed. Excitement, hope, willingness to do and try something different, new plans and of course, the old and so well known “New Year’s Resolution”.

For the first time, I decided I was not going to embark on that one, because it felt like a source of disappointment in the previous years and a realization how I did not follow through on my unconditional promises to myself. 

I changed my approach a little bit, though. I’ve been learning a lot about the whole mindset thing, manifestation and self-image. Gosh I feel like everybody is talking about that, so I decided to give it a try…

“Your results reflect the way you see yourself”. Ouch! I thought as I went through a self assessment in my mind and I heard my inner voice reviving a video lesson…

– Really!? How is that possible!? I started asking myself – upset about how some things were in some areas of my life.

It wasn’t too long ago when I realized that I was actually upset with myself, my lack of action and/or excess of bad planning.

Each time I thought about doing something great, immediately I would block that idea and think that wasn’t for me…

Maybe it wasn’t, but I could at least have given a try, right!?

“Whether you think you can or that you can’t, you are correct” – Thomas Edison reminded me of his wisdom. 

– Do I really want to hear all this stuff? – I asked myself.

– Yes you do, Sheyla! (exclamation point) yelled my inner voice.

– You said you were ready for a change, didn’t you!? 

Welcome on board and enjoy the ride! 

With love,

2021

P.S. Remember you can do whatever you want, one day at a time. Be grateful, all the time, because any second everything can be taken away from you. Make a decision right now to be healthy, happy and to Live Fully 2day. It is a privilege to be here, so enjoy the Present!!

Our military thought that they couldn’t get to Pearl Harbor, that it was too long a journey from Japan to get there, and they proved us wrong.

Jerry Bruckheimer

How many times we think of things being impossible, too hard to do, or to accomplish? and right there we stop going in that direction!?

The truth is you are the only problem you will ever going to have and you are also the only solution!

It is all about our mindset, what is going on inside – the inner talk – that determines our results.

Do you think the Japanese thought they could not do it!?

This is a huge reflection for us…
But today I’d like to honor all the ones that made the ultimate sacrifice back then in 1941, their loved ones and families that till this day are impacted by such a tragedy.

See, as terrible as it was, it marked the moment US decided to enter the WWII and you know the facts, later on led to the end of the war.

Think of those things that might have happened in your life… would it be an opportunity to turn things around and “right your story”?

Think about it…

#pearlharbor #pearlharborfilm #pearlharborgiftshop #pearlharborhawaii #pearlharborkai #pearlHarbortribute #adversities #breakdown #breakdowns #breakthrough #breakthroughs #rupture #ruptures

There are so many people in the world desperate trying to find their other half – their better part… How terrible is that!?

What a let down to imagine that we have to outsource to find “our better part”!

Thousands of people are looking for the “perfect partner” without realizing that before that happen they must become the “perfect partner”. You won’t be able to understand and love someone else before you truly love yourself first.

If you are looking for your best part – means that if you can’t find it, you are stuck with your worst part!? Think about it…

We are not halves. We are entire.

Even the Bible tell us:

You shall love your neighbor as yourself

Mark 12:31

If you don’t love yourself, understand, respect yourself, how you are going to be able to love someone else? We all have different roots, family history, culture, education, life experience, relationships, physical bodies, colors, shapes and sizes. That combination added to your distinct and sometimes extreme levels of psychological, emotional and spiritual intelligence can alone be the ingredient to set you in a unique path in life.

People forget that every day we set the bar in how we want the world to treat us. How we take care of ourselves, put ourselves first – so that we can take care of others! Each time we say “yes” to others not wanting to, we are truly saying “no” to ourselves – being incongruent – creating mental and later on physical illness. We null ourselves so that we can “please” others – another perfect recipe for failure in relationships.

The world is full of “givers” and “takers” -The first ones – usually with self-esteem issues – can’t stop giving and have such a hard time accepting – until one day they fall into exhaustion and drop dead into depression. And on the other side there will always be the takers – the opportunists – trying to take advantage of all givers. Sadly one attracts the other until they realize their modus operandi; we don’t need to worry about the bloody suckers, they too will get their life’s lesson.

I know a lot of people who have the very same relationship with different people – they keep repeating the same pattern without realizing – and keep changing the antagonist – frustrated how they can never find the right person – again, they don’t get that until they become the right person, they will never attract such partner.

Everyone is looking for like minded people to be around. Wouldn’t be wonderful to find someone to share life with in that same state of mind!? Many people do and might experience their happily ever after – snapshots reflect that. What they fail to realize is that there is a constant evolution – we evolve as beings, experiencing our own journeys regardless who is our partner – and somehow believe we can still fit the new into the old “model”. I’ve heard the other day a priest saying that when a man finally meets “the woman” or vice-versa, that’s what their inner-voice sound like:

Him: – She is perfect. I hope she never changes…

Her: – He is great, not perfect but with me by his side, he will change…

What most likely will happen is:

Men expected they didn’t, but the certain thing is women will change

Women thought they could do it, but the truth is, men won’t change – unless they reach that need and make the choice by themselves.

Nobody changes anybody. We plant seeds, we cultivate, we suggest, we recommend, we set the bar, we take action, but we CANNOT change someone else – that is a inner decision and takes a lot time, investment, effort, persistence and patience (from the other side).

You can lead a horse to water, but you can‘t make it drink.

John Heywood

We are not the same person we were 10, 5 or even 2 years ago. The same happens to our partner – or partner-to-be. Life happens both sides, values & beliefs influence our life’s journey, circumstances might affect the way we perceive experiences, how we make decisions, what is important to us or not.

Some people believe and even say: “I am good. I am married already.” like it was a title they conquered and it doesn’t require maintenance. Being with someone is a daily decision, a choice we make.

We must invest in ourselves, to educate, to build what we want, to defend and fight for what we believe, to become entire, sure of ourselves, free and happy. Then it might happen in the process that the energy you emanate will touch another person in a similar journey and you will meet.

You don’t wait until you meet someone to become the person you wanna be, to determine your values & beliefs and to set your convictions. We are all under construction and grow with time once we invest into it and are influenced by the people we respect and admire. But we must be entire each step of the process and have an open mind to accept new perspectives.

The secret for a perfect relationship is to have each other truly committed and investing daily to help their partner become their Best Version. Understand what is important to the other, what they value, listen to them, help them transform their weakness, believe in them, empower their strengths, trust, love unconditionally, value their expertise, respect their point of view and try to learn from them. By both doing that you will build your unique foundation and grow you own perfect castle together.

Life is light and fun when you have someone to laugh about your own imperfections, the silly things you do every day, a person to play with and to make fun – your favorite weirdo.

It is a joy to experience life with a person you trust and want to be with. Another human being completely different, but that you can truly be yourself. Someone entire, that met another resolved, great being – not perfect – but the one that you want and choose to share life together.

• The most productive age of human life is between 60 and 70 years;
• The 2nd most productive stage of the human being is between 70 and 80 years;
• The 3rd most productive stage is 50 and 60 years.

Before that the human being has not yet reached its peak.

The average age of Nobel Prize winners is 62;
The average age of presidents of the world’s 100 largest companies is 63;
The average age of pastors in the 100 largest churches in the U.S. is 71;
The average age of popes is 76 years.

This confirms that the best and most productive years of the human being are between 60 and 80 years of age.

WHEN DO WE DO OUR BEST WORK?

This study was published by a team of physicians and psychologists in the NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE  https://lnkd.in/d54_yQ6
They found that at age 60 you reach the top of your emotional and mental potential and that continues until you are 80.

In a 2008 article in the Journal of Psychological Science in the Public Interest, researchers charted the range of cognition—or how well our brains can function—at various ages. What we find is that the potential for high-functioning brain activity peaks in our 50s but remains high until our 90s and functional into the 100s; however, the average person peaks at 30 and declines to a nonfunctioning state by his or her late 80s.

I’ve seen people starting their business at the age of 70 and at a time, accepted the fact that maybe I wasn’t old to start on mine. My mother-in-law had her business running until the age of 95! She’s ironed man’s shirt for entrepreneurs and local business owners for over 76 years, she used to say proudly. Can you imagine that? Even if she had started her ironing business at the age of 70, she would have run it successfully for 25 years!!!

What is your excuse to not do or start something you always wanted?

A week has seven days and someday is not one of them

The time to start is now! Embrace your dreams, take the first step.

If it is important to you, you will find the time, you will find a way, you will find the money. If it is not, you will find an excuse… You’ve got to choose

How many times we live our lives on automated mode, we stop thinking and just go through the motions? We do the same things, make the same choices, go to the same places, tell the same stories…

Perhaps the life pattern you’ve defined a long time ago is still the same… When was the last time you’ve updated your “modus operandi”? Is it out dated? Many believe it is safe to take the more traveled road, to stay with the known, compared to something new…

Have you ever questioned yourself about old thoughts, behaviors, habits and attitudes? Do they still go along with you, or have you been caring and using the same for a very long time? Do they still reflect the person you are today? Better than that, do they represent the person you want to be?

People change cars, clothes, shoes, hair style… even electronic devices and operational systems require updates. How about you? When was the last time you “rebooted” to get your mind updated?

The way you see the world today and your inner voice, are they going along or there is an ongoing battle? Are your values and beliefs compliant with the way you see life now? Is it congruent with your internal dialogue (that little voice that talks to you while you do things)? Are your actions and thoughts aligned with what you really wanna do, be and have?

Free yourself up from the garbage of your past and things that don’t belong anymore. Get rid of the old stuff and make room for the new. We do take time to do Spring cleaning, renew our house style, decor, little gadgets, sometimes we rethink the whole thing and bring a whole new theme, colors and style, don’t we? Why is it so hard to make time, stop everything we are doing, close our eyes and start questioning all the outdated stuff we still carry around, but that we know, they do not belong anymore.

I invite you to stop for five precious minutes of your day, revisit and challenge whatever is going on in your mind. Get rid of the trash, dust, polish what is good and require care, make all the necessary updates…

Get your “New Best Self” Today!