be yourself – Live Fully Today Blog

Freedom

Sheyla Zito — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:33:55 +0000

After one of my sessions with my therapist, we were talking about how I can be independent, autonomy and happy no matter where I am, with the person I am, doing whatever I am doing – how can I be myself fully – regardless – as a reflection he asked me to write about – what is freedom to me.

Interesting enough I had just read the amazing book The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer. At the end of the book, he talks about “Unconditional Happiness”, which means making a decision to be happy no matter what happens to you, in your life – I love that concept

I see lots of people practicing “Conditional Happiness” – once this or that happens I will be happy, after I heal, as soon as I get a job, if I get the promotion… I’m sure when I find someone… when we get married… by the time we have kids… there is an infinite list of things that must happen.

But the challenge is truly to put all those things aside and make a decision that no matter what happens, be happy. Even if your wife leaves you, even if your husband dies, or the stock market crashes, or your car breaks down or even if you go to jail. – says the author

“Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?”
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It’s not a question of whether your happiness is under your control. Of course it’s under your control. It’s just what you don’t really mean it when you say you’re willing to stay happy. You want to qualify it. You want to say that as long as this doesn’t happen, or as long as that does happen, then you’re willing to be happy. That’s why it seems like it is out of your control. Any condition you create will limit your happiness. You simply aren’t going to be able to control things and keep them the way you want them.
Michael A. Singer

Why are you talking about happiness, if this post is about freedom, Sheyla, you may be asking yourself? Well, think about, are they related or not?

…and here is what I came up with speaking about Freedom

Freedom for me is doing what I want, when I want, and the way I want.
Dress as I choose, buy what I like, enjoy what gives me pleasure.

Freedom for me is being the owner of my own nose, coming and going as I please.

Freedom for me is to express myself freely, do what I want, without judging me or caring about what the others think, says or how they act towards me.

Freedom for me is choosing the life I want, having what is important to me, enjoying it with whoever I am with, anytime and for as long as I want. (Does this sound like I’m using the other person? It did as I first wrote, but now, it sounds like basics to me, isn’t!? If I am not to choose my own life, who else?)

Freedom is embodying my convictions, being true to them until I change my mind – and being okay with that too!

The more I write the more I realize how to be free is to be selfish… is it? And being selfish is ugly. It’s not a God’s thing. Is it? What about the thing about loving my neighbor as thyself? If I don’t love myself, how can I understand or either love others?

It sounds like a mess…, is it? Not? To me now, it’s really seems to be clear.

Freedom is breathing, moving, going, staying, looking, feeling, smelling, eating, touching, listening to what I want, when I want, as much as I want, however I want, whenever I want and for as long as I want, anytime I want.

Ah this is freedom. Decide what to think, what to want, what to imagine, what to rationalize, what to follow, what to believe. It’s putting my will into work and to act upon whatever I feel inspired to. It is choosing the perspective I want and that suits me, it’s having faith that what I’m doing (or not doing) is the right thing. Freedom is being aware of it all, honoring each one of them and feeling good about myself. It’s knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing the right thing and exactly what I’m doing (or not doing) and the way I’m doing it – with or without company – I pick.

Freedom is listening without having to react, choosing what moves me or makes me reflect. It’s understanding that it’s up to me, only me, to act or not, to do or not, to have or not, to be or not. Sounds complex… It isn’t, really, now as I read it all seem way too simple.

Freedom is being 100% responsible for me, in all aspects, body, mind and spirit. Being in control, in charge, or getting carried away. Freedom is understanding that my life, my results, my appearance, my relationships, my profession, absolutely everything was (or is) my choice, or lack of it (which is also a choice), my consequence (depending on what I did or did not – now as I hear myself saying it – “I stopped doing it” sounds like I was supposed to have done something but didn’t honor with my commitment ” – but I get it now that it is not the case at all), my decisions.

Freedom is allowing my gifts and talents to unfold without judgment.

To be authentic, real, natural, express myself fully, expand, grow, stay, move, go for it, get some rest, take a day off, have a PJ day, run a marathon, play when I feel like it, start something new, stop something I don’t like, get rid of what doesn’t spark joy anymore, buy what pleases my eyes or makes my heart sing.

Being free is to be myself truly, all of it, or none of it, anytime, anywhere, anyway, my most divine being, my best version, me here & now and be okay with it.

Freedom is to own all the concepts I choose to label myself and to get rid of the ones someone else given but don’t represent me at all. Freedom is to be confident, exuberant, a free spirit, beautiful, sophisticated, elegant, powerful, a believer, a relentless student, faithful, limitless, a leader, a follower, a server, a survivor, an inspiration, a motivador, a speaker, a woman ahead of her time, a blessing, an angel, a daughter of God, a treasure finder, a grateful heart, an appreciator, conscious awareness, love, light, compassion, harmony, peace and more. Freedom is to embody each one of those magnificent descriptions of God’s perfect creation. It is to be all of it, or none of it when it fits me. Freedom is to be okay with and not even make a big deal about going towards things, places and people I choose to and want more of or walk away from the ones that have already served their purpose in my life. It is to experience life my own unique way, living in this body I was entrusted and enjoy my exclusive freewill.

To be free is to show up in my most naked self, with or without make up on, in a good or bad hair day, perfect or bitten nails, over or under weight, respecting myself as I look in the mirror and deal with others and respecting others no matter what they do, say or how they act.

Freedom is to always find a way to bring something good to someone, to cheer up their day, bring light to their lives, a smile to their face, hope to their heart, while bring truth to myself and my unique way of living.

Freedom is to forgive myself and others and let it go the poison it brings to my mind, it is to silence my busy self-talk and to tune into what I decide to listen to. It is to feel okay when I am not okay and to dance and jump around when I am in full ecstasy and excitement. Freedom is to walk barefoot, enjoy walking in the rain, dance when I hear “Dancing Queen”, cry each and every time there’s an upcoming overflow of tears in my eyes. Freedom is to get involved deeply, let myself go, stay with it and allow all the feeling to take me over. It is to be insane, love something and a minutes later change my opinion and be okay with that. Freedom is to walk away from what I once loved, but no longer do; it is to not be eternally responsible for what I’ve once cultivated. Freedom is to express my opposite vision of the Little Prince MO and whoever else, of course respectfully having my own point of view and understanding people that happen to have a different opinion – and remain friends with them – if that’s what both sides want…

Freedom is simple, it is simply to live my own, exclusive, unique life. Freedom is to say all these things, to own my truth and feel myself proud.

If I got to be free, I’ve got to be me, Not the “me” you think I should be, not the “me” my spouse thinks I should be, not the “me” my kids think I should be. If I got to be free, I’ve got to me, the “me” I should be.
Bob Proctor

Feel free to agree… In order for me to be free, I’ve got to be me. That’s it!

Are you free!? What is freedom for you?

How hard is it to make it easy?

Sheyla Zito — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 02:13:44 +0000

A True Story
I’m sitting in a quiet room at the Millcroft Inn, a peaceful little place hidden behind the pine trees about an hour out of Toronto. It’s just past noon, late July, and I’m listening to the desperate sounds of a life-or-death struggle going on a few feet away.
There’s a small fly burning out the last of its short life’s energies in a futile attempt to fly through the glass of a windowpane. The whining wings tell the poignant story of the fly’s strategy — try harder. But it’s not working, The frenzied effort offers no hope for survival. Ironically, the struggle is a part of the trap. It is impossible for the fly to try hard enough to succeed at breaking through the glass. Nevertheless, this little insect has staked its life on reaching its goal through raw effort and determination. This fly is doomed to die. It will die there on the windowsill.
Across the room, ten steps away, the door is open. Ten seconds of flying time and this small creature could reach the outside world it seeks. With only a fraction of the effort now being wasted, it could be free of this self-imposed trap. The breakthrough possibility is there. It would be so easy.
Why doesn’t the fly try another approach, something dramatically different? How did it get so locked in on the idea that this particular route, and determined effort, offers the most promise for success? What logic is there in continuing, until death, to seek a breakthrough with “more of the same”? No doubt this approach makes sense to the fly. Regrettably, it’s an idea that will kill.
“Trying harder” isn’t necessarily the solution to achieving more. It may not offer any real promise for getting what you want out of life. Sometimes, in fact, it’s a big part of the problem.
If you stake your hopes for a breakthrough on trying harder than ever, you may kill your chances for success.
Price Pritchett – You2

The first time I heard this story I can’t begin to tell you how many bells rang to me… One of the strongest values imprinted by my father was “Work hard” and still you will barely make it. He’s a healthy 78 yo man and spend every single day working on his or my brother’s yard – every day from 9 to 5 with an hour for lunch. He is happy doing what he loves, being with himself with very few social interaction. The way he learned, strongly believe and still is loyal to.

A year ago I entered into a program and when responding to a questionnaire question I realized I was still living my life based on that very same value… First I got shocked, then I smiled and realized that the program must be really good, bringing stuff like that to the surface and giving me the opportunity to work them out.

I’ve been learning about quantum leaps, the Laws of the Universe, The effortless way, how our mind works. Lots of stuff that have already convinced me it does not have to be hard. It shouldn’t, actually.

I see a lot of people trying to hard to look easy, but because I am very good in reading between the lines, I can see what they are hiding. Worse than that, all I hear is what they are not saying. I am an empath and connect with people’s energy very easily. You can’t hide stuff from me, ever. I just know.

Interesting how on the other hand, there are a few people that “made it” and are desperate trying to show everyone that they too can do it.

Look at me, a cancer survivor, if I started telling you all the stuff I went through, it would look like a terror movie. I know people are living terrible things right now, and don’t want to say my case was worse than anyone.

What I am eager to show to the world is that this is how it looks like on the other side. It becomes almost an obsession to help others, to “convince” them of their birth rights, that they are “entitled” to a happy, healthy, fulfilled life, regardless what they are going through right now. I did, so can them.

We tend to get blind as we are experiencing stuff, trying too hard to be in control and make things happen “our way”, but it doesn’t work like that. Faith is what you need, to replace the fear of the worse case scenario with the faith in the best case scenario. That is the bridge.

As soon as you do that, you will notice how things changed, even though they are all the same – it is because you’ve changed the lenses on which you see the world – your perception and that alone will shift your whole world to a complete different place.

The most important one: Be yourself and be sure it is the best thing you can be. This is the only thing that will release you to freedom. Know that there is only one of you, you are unique, special and beautiful just the way you are. Better than that, once you are not trying to be someone else, but your true self, you will feel a drop in a huge weight out of your back and finally feel free.

“Blessed is she that believed; for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.”
Luke 1:45

The effortless way is how you might be able to fly to an open door…