happiness – Live Fully Today Blog

Freedom

Sheyla Zito — Mon, 15 Nov 2021 20:33:55 +0000

After one of my sessions with my therapist, we were talking about how I can be independent, autonomy and happy no matter where I am, with the person I am, doing whatever I am doing – how can I be myself fully – regardless – as a reflection he asked me to write about – what is freedom to me.

Interesting enough I had just read the amazing book The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer. At the end of the book, he talks about “Unconditional Happiness”, which means making a decision to be happy no matter what happens to you, in your life – I love that concept

I see lots of people practicing “Conditional Happiness” – once this or that happens I will be happy, after I heal, as soon as I get a job, if I get the promotion… I’m sure when I find someone… when we get married… by the time we have kids… there is an infinite list of things that must happen.

But the challenge is truly to put all those things aside and make a decision that no matter what happens, be happy. Even if your wife leaves you, even if your husband dies, or the stock market crashes, or your car breaks down or even if you go to jail. – says the author

“Do you want to be happy from this point forward for the rest of your life, regardless of what happens?”
There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. It’s not a question of whether your happiness is under your control. Of course it’s under your control. It’s just what you don’t really mean it when you say you’re willing to stay happy. You want to qualify it. You want to say that as long as this doesn’t happen, or as long as that does happen, then you’re willing to be happy. That’s why it seems like it is out of your control. Any condition you create will limit your happiness. You simply aren’t going to be able to control things and keep them the way you want them.
Michael A. Singer

Why are you talking about happiness, if this post is about freedom, Sheyla, you may be asking yourself? Well, think about, are they related or not?

…and here is what I came up with speaking about Freedom

Freedom for me is doing what I want, when I want, and the way I want.
Dress as I choose, buy what I like, enjoy what gives me pleasure.

Freedom for me is being the owner of my own nose, coming and going as I please.

Freedom for me is to express myself freely, do what I want, without judging me or caring about what the others think, says or how they act towards me.

Freedom for me is choosing the life I want, having what is important to me, enjoying it with whoever I am with, anytime and for as long as I want. (Does this sound like I’m using the other person? It did as I first wrote, but now, it sounds like basics to me, isn’t!? If I am not to choose my own life, who else?)

Freedom is embodying my convictions, being true to them until I change my mind – and being okay with that too!

The more I write the more I realize how to be free is to be selfish… is it? And being selfish is ugly. It’s not a God’s thing. Is it? What about the thing about loving my neighbor as thyself? If I don’t love myself, how can I understand or either love others?

It sounds like a mess…, is it? Not? To me now, it’s really seems to be clear.

Freedom is breathing, moving, going, staying, looking, feeling, smelling, eating, touching, listening to what I want, when I want, as much as I want, however I want, whenever I want and for as long as I want, anytime I want.

Ah this is freedom. Decide what to think, what to want, what to imagine, what to rationalize, what to follow, what to believe. It’s putting my will into work and to act upon whatever I feel inspired to. It is choosing the perspective I want and that suits me, it’s having faith that what I’m doing (or not doing) is the right thing. Freedom is being aware of it all, honoring each one of them and feeling good about myself. It’s knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, doing the right thing and exactly what I’m doing (or not doing) and the way I’m doing it – with or without company – I pick.

Freedom is listening without having to react, choosing what moves me or makes me reflect. It’s understanding that it’s up to me, only me, to act or not, to do or not, to have or not, to be or not. Sounds complex… It isn’t, really, now as I read it all seem way too simple.

Freedom is being 100% responsible for me, in all aspects, body, mind and spirit. Being in control, in charge, or getting carried away. Freedom is understanding that my life, my results, my appearance, my relationships, my profession, absolutely everything was (or is) my choice, or lack of it (which is also a choice), my consequence (depending on what I did or did not – now as I hear myself saying it – “I stopped doing it” sounds like I was supposed to have done something but didn’t honor with my commitment ” – but I get it now that it is not the case at all), my decisions.

Freedom is allowing my gifts and talents to unfold without judgment.

To be authentic, real, natural, express myself fully, expand, grow, stay, move, go for it, get some rest, take a day off, have a PJ day, run a marathon, play when I feel like it, start something new, stop something I don’t like, get rid of what doesn’t spark joy anymore, buy what pleases my eyes or makes my heart sing.

Being free is to be myself truly, all of it, or none of it, anytime, anywhere, anyway, my most divine being, my best version, me here & now and be okay with it.

Freedom is to own all the concepts I choose to label myself and to get rid of the ones someone else given but don’t represent me at all. Freedom is to be confident, exuberant, a free spirit, beautiful, sophisticated, elegant, powerful, a believer, a relentless student, faithful, limitless, a leader, a follower, a server, a survivor, an inspiration, a motivador, a speaker, a woman ahead of her time, a blessing, an angel, a daughter of God, a treasure finder, a grateful heart, an appreciator, conscious awareness, love, light, compassion, harmony, peace and more. Freedom is to embody each one of those magnificent descriptions of God’s perfect creation. It is to be all of it, or none of it when it fits me. Freedom is to be okay with and not even make a big deal about going towards things, places and people I choose to and want more of or walk away from the ones that have already served their purpose in my life. It is to experience life my own unique way, living in this body I was entrusted and enjoy my exclusive freewill.

To be free is to show up in my most naked self, with or without make up on, in a good or bad hair day, perfect or bitten nails, over or under weight, respecting myself as I look in the mirror and deal with others and respecting others no matter what they do, say or how they act.

Freedom is to always find a way to bring something good to someone, to cheer up their day, bring light to their lives, a smile to their face, hope to their heart, while bring truth to myself and my unique way of living.

Freedom is to forgive myself and others and let it go the poison it brings to my mind, it is to silence my busy self-talk and to tune into what I decide to listen to. It is to feel okay when I am not okay and to dance and jump around when I am in full ecstasy and excitement. Freedom is to walk barefoot, enjoy walking in the rain, dance when I hear “Dancing Queen”, cry each and every time there’s an upcoming overflow of tears in my eyes. Freedom is to get involved deeply, let myself go, stay with it and allow all the feeling to take me over. It is to be insane, love something and a minutes later change my opinion and be okay with that. Freedom is to walk away from what I once loved, but no longer do; it is to not be eternally responsible for what I’ve once cultivated. Freedom is to express my opposite vision of the Little Prince MO and whoever else, of course respectfully having my own point of view and understanding people that happen to have a different opinion – and remain friends with them – if that’s what both sides want…

Freedom is simple, it is simply to live my own, exclusive, unique life. Freedom is to say all these things, to own my truth and feel myself proud.

If I got to be free, I’ve got to be me, Not the “me” you think I should be, not the “me” my spouse thinks I should be, not the “me” my kids think I should be. If I got to be free, I’ve got to me, the “me” I should be.
Bob Proctor

Feel free to agree… In order for me to be free, I’ve got to be me. That’s it!

Are you free!? What is freedom for you?

Footsteps to fly

Sheyla Zito — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 17:34:11 +0000

If I knew I was going to die today, I wouldn’t focus on what I’ve lacked, my flaws, imperfections or things I still have left to do…

Picture @Clement Roy from Unsplash – Thank you!

I would remember a fantasy world…

A world where family used to sit around the table to have their meals together, talking, laughing, telling stories, speaking all the same time and magically listening to every conversation and replying in joy.

I would remember a world where my boys are close to me, very present and intentionally around, looking for advice, excited to share, rapt (extasiado) to tell me about something they’ve just experienced, a girl they’ve just met, something about her smile, the way she moves her hand and touches her hair, the simple but breathtaking smile coordinated with her looking unintentionally until meeting their gaze…

I would remember a happily ever after life, the one I probably have lived, or not, but that I miss, one that exists in my own mind, with birds singing, sitting at the back porch looking at the mountains, feeling the breeze touching my face, the butterflies kissing the flowers and the humminbirds in their last journey before fall arrives in its majesty.

I would remember an utopic love, truly soul mate, as I felt once, or twice… when I was 20 and then again when I was 35, before it had faded away to a far away land, which I no longer could smell its scent, feel its temperature, hear its sounds, see its enchantment or touch its form.

So much for maturing and growing old…without realizing we stop living the present or imagining the future, but we use our creative minds to change the past, to color the happy pages, to add glitter to it and make it even brighter and happier. We skip or without any resentment we rip off the pages with the sad stories. But some, the ones we are proud of, we would frame and put in our imaginary living room, close to the mantel, as a reminder of our battles and the medals we’ve collected throughout the years. Scars that as years pass we become proud to share, to talk about our vulnerabilities, to show that we too were weak and unhappy, but we are okay with that.

I would make sure everyone knows how much I love them, not individually, because I truly believe I’ve done that throughout the journey, but that if they could imagine love in its greatest form, size, color, sound and smell; the strongest beating of the heart, the warmth of the 12o’clock sun, the awakening of a deep dive in a lake, the beauty of a sunset and the promise of a sunrise, and the brighteness of a full moon in a perfectly clear sky. My love would be present in all of it, and at the peaceful silence at the mountain top and the beauty of the landscape under their feet they would feel me, there, still present, somewhere they can’t see, but feel as they close their eyes.

I would imagine that I have never left my boys, neither for a second, that we have shared everything and more and it was never enough, such a great love we always have for one another. I would remember our moments together doing the dishes, talking about our day: the silliest things and that would mean the world. I would remember watching they opening the front door and coming inside the apartment where I would be already preparing dinner and they would walk into the tiny kitchen, kiss my chic and walk to their room. I would remember arriving from work, with my hands full of computer bag, pocket book, car keys and the groceries bags I’ve purchased in my way home, planning some special dinner and would see them sitting at the living room, watching TV, playing on the floor with Hot Wheels cars and tracks and laughing with the dog trying to be part of it all.

I would remember minutes before getting into countless surgeries and waking up alive after them, so grateful for having another chance and opportunity to keep going and try to do it right that time.

I would remember the Monday nights we used to go to my mother’s house to pray the rosary as a family. Sitting around the gigantic kitchen take to have dinner together, mom’s scrumptions food, and see the whole table taken by each one of us, still dressed from work. I would remember we all then moving to the living room after taken way too much time eating, but happily finding a place to sit, choosing the rosary we liked the best and all started praying; even the little kids knew all the prayers by heart and they would proudly pray and put tears into our eyes. We would pray fervently for all that asked for our prayers and our own, truly believing everything was going to be ok, to get resolved, to be healed, to pass… and they always did.

I would remember my faith, how powerful it has always been and my ancestries and people I cared about that had already crossed the bridge and get excited with the idea of meeting them again and sharing all that they’ve missed since their departure… and I would look up and see Him, smiling; close my eyes smiling, remembering when He once told me:

– You knew it was going to be short…

And with confidence, take my last breath in gratitude for all the blessings, the graces, the opportunities, the lessons, the people I met, the family I was chosen to be part of, or that have chosen me… for all that I did, said, had, for all the seeds I’ve planted, for the ones that germinated and the ones still in hibernation and I would go happily, with a feeling of completed mission and looking forward to experiencing the eternal life and to learn more about my role there… I will be in ecstasy to finally meet our Lord and live in Heaven happily ever after, this time, for real.

Sheyla Zito

15Sep2020 12pm 1023 words from my back porch In Spring Hill, TN