Today I woke up to a world with one less friend… How is that possible? I am devastated. I can’t believe it, I just can’t. She’s so young, beautiful, full of life.

I’ve been working on my business, generating content, talking to my audience, engaging with people and for a very long time, I haven’t been “me”. I don’t even remember when was the last time I’ve posted something in my personal page or interacted with people there. Yesterday evening my husband shared one of our precious moments together in our back porch listening to the rain and Adriana Calcanhoto https://open.spotify.com/track/4XXaIb6V1u0X5Ao2xzeotr . So this morning I decided to log into my personal account and take a look… sent love to lots of people, engaged in some comments and kept scrolling until I saw it.

This is the second time that Facebook tells me that someone I truly care about is no long among us. I am not going to get into how unfair and sad this is. The first time was my grandmother – which seemed to be a racing among my cousins as there was some kind of prize to the first place. That is how I learned about her death. unbelievable. unforgettable. unforgivable. Thank God I was able to release all that pain already.

I’ve been thinking about Stacie for some time and meant to contact her. I felt like she had disappeared and I missed her. I remembered sending her a voice message after watching a movie where the antagonist looked just like her.

“Hard to believe it’s just been one year since I lost my dear friend.” said the post from a common friend Christine Partch.

I used to volunteer at Gilda’s Club Nashville, conceiving and delivering workshops for people impacted by Cancer based on my survival journey. Their mail letter informed me about the Creative Expressive Writing at VICC – https://news.vumc.org/2015/09/03/new-creative-writing-course-geared-for-cancer-community/ sponsored by Vanderbilt. Aware of English being my second language, I accepted their suggestion to use those moments as some kind of therapy, journaling or whatever I want to reflect on. That’s were I met Stacie, sometime between 2015 and 2016 at the Curb in those wonderful classes facilitated by Anna Silverstein.

The stories we heard from each person that wanted to share whatever the prompt inspired them to write about were so beautiful, profound and heart felt. It was impossible not to fall in love with one another, know their true self and finally understand the concept of Soul Mate. We not only spoke the same language but also shared the same pain. Trying to get back to “normal life” after a life sentencing diagnosis and experience…

Stacie was always very elegant in her jeans, t-shirt, comfortable shoes, scarfs on winter, a cross body bag, her iPhone and the keyboard where she would type her way out. Each and every time she would share what she wrote, I used to be amazed. How in 20 min writing someone can come up with that!? I used to think. But she did, and she wasn’t the only one. Getting back into my writing from those times, except for the poor English, grammar, syntax, concordance, etc the depth and the ideas were inspiring.

We’ve shared many workshops together and she was very supportive of my writing. So many times I remember her telling me to focus on the writing idea and forget everything else. I used to feel less because I was a foreigner, but they were all so wonderful to me. It was all in my head, I guess, but it hasn’t stopped me.

After being in so many workshops I decided to walk away for a bit. Without communicating to one another, it seemed like we all shared the same thoughts. Spring 2019 I decided to get back partially and met a whole new group of people. They were also wonderful and lovely, but not the original group, but I decided to stay as I realized how much I missed. They were working on an Anthology and I proudly submitted a few pieces of my writing work. Even though the facilitator of the class always changes after a couple of seasons, it is a blessing to know each one of them and to see how in the world is possible to always have wonderful people leading those amazing classes. Lina was the one that time, she was moving to Texas and Vandy organized a reception where each person could ready their piece.

That was the last time I saw Stacie. May 2019, just a few days before her birthday. She wasn’t in the class, but published the incredible memoir of her pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela – which I remember her reading the raw piece as she came back from the trip and sharing with us in class, back in 2016/17. The original piece was called: “When I die, call Kevin”, to me, it was love at first sight. I am not sure how many editions and when she decided to change the title, but it has been perfect from the first version as I walked with her in her words.

I was so happy to see her again, it brought back memories of a happy time, when I first discovered my passion for writing, our group, the support, the fun, the meals we shared, the unconditional love and support to one another. It was the first time I saw her with hair and I couldn’t help myself but to comment how beautiful she was also with it. She smiled and touching it at the shoulders length mentioned how much and fast it’s growing again… She read her piece and I went back to Spain with her once again, and to the classes at the West End Avenue over breakfast, in front of the Parthenon, where she first shared her treasure with us.

I left the bathroom this morning and couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t believe it has been a whole year she is no longer in this dimension. I missed her puppies posts, her birthday donations posts on her birthday, her smile, spontaneity, authenticity, her angelic way of being herself.

It is not natural to see someone that young leaving. I still can’t believe it.

I found her everywhere as I was looking for comfort throughout the day and had to pay an homage to her. I am so grateful we’ve met, shared so much during our human experience. I can’t describe my state of gratitude for her legacy and how much she’s been, done and inspired us. I also stole a piece from her blog, written by her loved ones, which I second to the letter…

“Although she is gone, she is forever in our hearts.  She touched so many lives during her short time on earth.  Stacie was grateful for every life experience and viewed everything as a new adventure.  As she laid knowing the end was near, she said,

“I’m excited to see what’s on the other side.”  

Stacie Chevrier

May we all take a piece of Stacie’s grace, wisdom, optimism and enlightenment with us every day on our journey through life.  RIP Stacie. Forever Young.  Forever Beautiful.  We love you so much!

I told my husband about it all, back at the swing in our porch this morning and mentioned that voice message I left her, when I realized I’ve never checked it back, and then I did…

“Thank you Sheyla! So sweet to hear your voice.:)

Don’t let it kill you, before you die

Stacie Chevrier